Finally Bokani and Pako can be together at the Lobola.JPG
Originally uploaded by natavillage.
We think this might be the first Lobola in Botswana to be on the internet. We want to thank Bokani, her fiancé Pako and both families for letting us share their special day with you. It is a cultural tradition that the man pays the family of the woman for the privilege of marriage. The tradition is very complicated and can vary from family to family. In times past, the man brought cows to the family of the bride in order to pay the bride price. These days many people just substitute the cost of the cow. Pako paid the equivalent of 8 cows (P8,000), 4 goats, a sheep and clothing for several family members including the bride. Since Bokani’s father has passed away, the clothes allotted for him were given to the eldest brother. The amount and the items of clothing to be purchased are all put in writing between the two families. Bokani plans to marry in December so her Lobola is 3 months prior to the wedding. The family of the groom came to Bokani’s house at 7am. They were not allowed inside the gate of the compound until the bride price had been paid. Male relatives of Bokani went outside to greet the groom’s family and make sure everything was in order. After the money and gifts were turned over to Bokani’s family, only then were they allowed to enter the gate. The two families are kept apart until after lunch. The bride and groom are also kept isolated until after the meal and they once again ask for Bokani’s hand. Family members and neighbors of the bride cook all day for the festivities. A goat is slaughtered especially for the family of the groom. After the goat is skinned, the groom’s family inspects it to make sure it is fat and healthy. After Pako asks the second time to marry Bokani legally in front of the District Commissioner, Bokani is allowed to emerge in the new clothes bought for her. She comes out with her face covered and the groom must pay Bokani P50 to see her face. At this point the party begins. The two families begin to get to know each other and everyone has a great time. Traditional African beer is shared along with other spirits. It is a day that starts early and ends very late. Everyone had a wonderful time. Congratulations to Bokani and Pako. Special thanks to Nchena who helped me understand this complicated procedure.
Bokani's mom (center) sits with the aunties of Bokani
Bokani's cousin Nchena and his wife Keene along with brother Thembisani in the center
Bokani was kept alone during the morning of the Lobola
Bogobe and Morogo are prepared over open fire
A goat is slaughtered for Bokani's Lobola
Thanks for this wonderful and informative website about Nata. I am a Motswana student at Boston University USA and I was looking for something to share with my American colleagues concerning our culture.I was more interested in our traditional wedding. I surfed the net for hours and when I was about to give up, I came across this website. Thank you very much and especially to Bokani who agreed to share her special day's pictures with the world.
Posted by: Nancy Neo Chengeta | February 08, 2007 at 07:07 PM
Thank you for this wonderful article! A groom like me can learn very interesting things about your culture.
Posted by: Trooper | July 28, 2007 at 01:27 AM
Hi Nancy,
I came across this site as I look for your name. This is wonderful information as my family is just done with the engagement of my son to his Chinese girlfriend. It is wonderful to note that no matter what culture we belong, there is always the traditional betrothal ceremony. This is a treasure that every culture should keep and maintain.
I wish to keep in touch with you Nancy, you can email me at amor552@yahoo.com. Hope this message gets to you.
Regards,
Emma (RIPDE-India 2001)
Posted by: Emma Cagud | March 13, 2008 at 11:47 PM
Hi Nancy,
I came across this site as I look for your name. This is wonderful information as my family is just done with the engagement of my son to his Chinese girlfriend. It is wonderful to note that no matter what culture we belong, there is always the traditional betrothal ceremony. This is a treasure that every culture should keep and maintain.
I wish to keep in touch with you Nancy, you can email me at amor552@yahoo.com. Hope this message gets to you.
Regards,
Emma (RIPDE-India 2001)
Posted by: Emma Cagud | March 13, 2008 at 11:48 PM